认识郭燕是最近几年的事情了，好像是在2006年上海双年展期间在一个叫原弓的私营美术馆举办的全是年轻人的群展上碰到的，因为她形象气质出众所以很容易引人注目，当时专门去看了她参展的作品，只是那次她参展的作品并不十分理想，倒是她那种孤傲安静的气质给我留下颇深的印象，隐约中能感觉到她安详静谧淡若止水的容颜之下可能隐藏着某种巨大的忧患、情感与能量，后来因为又与批评家陈默合作精选了那个展览中的一些参展艺术家的新作品到北京巡展，因为展期适逢宋庄艺术节，郭燕又来了北京到宋庄壹号的壹美术馆来看了那个巡展，也就慢慢熟了起来，去年去成都参加何多苓老师的生日庆典，刚好也有一家成都本地的画廊助兴办了一个何多苓推荐挑选的女艺术家的联展再次见到郭燕和她的作品，作品有了很大的进步，画面都是紫色的调子，有种难言的迷幻和忧伤的气质，混合着神秘、浪漫与凄美的情绪，画面中总有两个睡梦中的情侣漂浮在或都市或荒野的背景之下，作品给我留下了很深的印象。那天参展的都是来自几个城市的女性艺术家，展览现场花团锦簇美女如云，晚上何多苓老师的生日晚宴上更是高朋满座宾主尽欢，只是在那般噪杂热闹的环境中郭燕始终是沉静而若有所思的，偶尔聊起来也大多是问别人创作方面的经验以及对她作品的看法和感受，席间听何老师开玩笑说起才知道郭燕的丈夫就是成都最著名的品牌餐饮的掌门人，她生活优越却在艺术上执着追求勤奋创作，原本何老师以为她不过是画着玩玩，却越来越发现这个女孩对于艺术近乎痴迷的热爱，画起画来非常投入，天天在画室里一呆就是7、8个小时，和别人一见面就谈艺术谈创作。成都是一个安逸闲适的城市，很多定居在成都的职业艺术家往往都没有郭燕那么勤奋和努力，这不由得让我产生了强烈的兴趣想去了解和探究是什么样的渴求和力量让这样一个各方面都很优越的女孩子一意孤行地踏上漫无边际的艺术苦旅。
在随后的见面中我接受了郭燕的邀请去到她在市区中一间狭小的画室看她的作品，画室很小但很整洁，到处挂满了大小不同的油画作品，地上堆放着刚准备好的画框，随着她一张张翻开不同的油画，那种熟悉的忧伤、凄美和迷幻的气息扑鼻而来，我从未在别人的画中看到如此漂亮、脆弱的紫色，她几乎所有的作品都是紫色调子的，早期的“紫色印象系列”中多是都市的男女情侣或结伴而行或沉静拥座，画面中总是透出淡淡的忧郁和伤感，好似那些画中人总是在怀念逝去的青春、期盼久违的爱情或是忧虑遥远的未来，之后的“飘系列”中总是会出现漂浮在都市或是荒野的空中的睡梦中的情侣或是家人，画面的张力明显变大，灰紫色的天空、云团、地平线和城市天际线似乎蕴藏着危险的末世征兆，你能明显地在画面中感觉到涌动的冲突、矛盾、焦虑和孤独，似乎那些凄美艳丽的紫色就是一团团炽烈的燃料随时准备释放毁灭一切的能量，是什么让一个娇小美丽的女孩画出如此恢宏而有力量作品，到底在她平静冷淡的外表之下有着一颗怎样渴求与承担的内心呢？
我一直信奉一个真诚的艺术家的作品就应该像是一生中不断给自己绘制的自画像，表达的一切都会与自身的生存体验和精神磨砺有关，而随着对郭燕的进一步了解，并且成为了可以更多交流的好朋友，了解了她成长的经历和艺术方面的历程，我的问题逐渐的有了清晰的答案。
郭燕出生在陕南一座小县城的一个平和的普通家庭，自小在父母和姐姐哥哥的呵护下长大，那些时光缓慢的日子和温暖的家庭给了她一个安静的性格和浪漫的心。当4岁时的郭燕画出了第一幅画时可能已经在冥冥中注定了她一生的走向，那是一副彩色铅笔画的苹果树，一个苹果掉下来刚好落在树下一个人的嘴里，妈妈看到后很高兴便在左邻右舍间到处炫耀夸赞孩子的绘画天赋，这给了郭燕人生中最早的自信感觉。她坦言那种得到大人们肯定而信以为真的感觉对于自己以后的一切非常重要，尽管之后画画仍旧仅是一种兴趣，比较随意而并未专门学习。
初中时一位名叫任学军的美术老师可以算是郭燕在艺术方面的启蒙老师，任老师并非科班出身但却热情善良多才多艺，一直鼓励郭燕在绘画方面有所发展，还任命她做美术活动小组的组长，也常常参加各种校内校外的美术比赛。因为郭燕在家中最小虽然大家都很宠她，但往往更容易被忽视，家里什么都不需要她做，谁也不重视她的意见，同在一个中学的姐姐又很优秀总是给学习不太好的郭燕很大的压力，那时候她有些孤僻，虽然有时很任性但还不是很自信，当时郭燕已经非常明确地想要考上美院，不断地在西安参加各种各样的美术班包括西安艺考学生们都熟悉的“小寨俱乐部”，郭燕从高二就开始连续考了两年西安美院终于得偿所愿进入油画系。
但是四年的美院生活却令郭燕有些失望，没什么对自己特别有影响力的老师，年龄又小也贪玩不用功就像放羊似的混了四年，当时还没有做职业艺术家的想法，毕业前就在陕西电视台找了份工作，只是觉得上学给家庭带来很多经济上的负担希望尽快自己工作获取收入。那时妈妈也病倒了，不久后因癌症去世，几年后父亲也同样因癌症离世，双亲的逝去对郭燕的打击很大，那种刻骨铭心的疼痛让她很久难以摆脱，从此死亡的阴影始终笼罩着她，我们甚至在郭燕现在的画中都能感觉到那种无处不在的宿命悲观和末世情绪。
大学时期的恋爱对于郭燕而言是昏暗而疲惫的，天生丽质成了她生命中不能承受之轻，爱情没有带给她美好的憧憬反而成了一种负担。感情被过度的警惕与理智所压制却无从宣泄，整个人便收缩起来，她渴望逃离与摆脱，而那种渴望精神自由的逃逸幻想也就成为郭燕作品中贯穿始终的气质。在再也无法忍受那种令人窒息的感情时，她只身来到举目无亲的成都。朋友李蓉的帮助下才让她在成都安顿下来，几年来辗转多个广告公司和营销公司。后来遇到现在的丈夫一位在成都颇有名气的成功企业家，宽厚大度的丈夫给了她无微不至的照顾和衣食无忧的生活，似乎此时的郭燕应该不会再缺什么了，然而她仍然想画画，即便是在公司打工时也一直在家中画一些小油画。艺术家邱光平一次偶然看到郭燕画的几张小油画非常震惊，就告诉郭燕她要是放弃绘画将会非常可惜，邱光平将她带入了成都的艺术圈，先后结识了何多苓、周春芽等居在成都的艺术大家们。2004年10月，碰巧旅居美国十多年的杨千回国定居，杨千与郭燕的丈夫是自小一起长大的伙伴，于是那年杨千领着郭燕参观了位于北京东郊费家村、索家村几乎所有川籍艺术家的工作室，看到那些在北京奋斗着的职业艺术家们的状态，郭燕内心那沉睡了多年的艺术之梦猛然间又被唤醒了，从此她开始在绘画上花费更多的精力于时间，早在八十年代初就已经蜚声全国的“伤痕美术”的代表性艺术家何多苓老师可以说是郭燕的偶像，然而真正有机会近距离接触何老师时，何老师却对她的创作不以为然，何多苓认为一个家境富裕衣食无忧的美女大可不必以画画为生，可能不过是画着玩玩而已，并不会把绘画当作多大的事情来对待，何老师的态度却极大的刺激了郭燕，她尽管外表平和内心却很执拗倔强，何老师越是这样看越是加大了郭燕在艺术创作上的执着与决心，之后几年每当在绘画上有了一点小小的进步或是成绩时她都会专门跑到何老师那里炫耀一番，无形中何老师的调侃反而给了郭燕更多心灵的磨砺和支撑，当然何老师在技法与创作理念上也不断地给予郭燕真诚深刻的指导。
也正是从2004年底开始，郭燕迈入了完全独立创作的状态，开始还是比较轻松的，那时候主观上还不是很清楚自己到底想画什么，没有感觉到什么压力，但随着时间真正想画出点什么时，压力就来了，画画不再是风花雪月的欢愉而变成了一次次巨大的冒险之旅，她不断地做着各种各样的尝试，有时候也会感到迷茫，不知道前路在何方，更无法确定一切努力的意义，那是一种痛并快乐着的感觉，是一场无法逃离的沦陷。
2005年郭燕卖掉了一件作品《紫色印象系列3号》，这是有生以来第一次有人买自己的作品，她非常高兴，重要的不是作品换来的金钱而是那种自己的艺术创作得到来自社会的认可，这成为了郭燕转变成为职业艺术家的标志性事件，2006年因为参加上海原弓美术馆的青年艺术家群展而有机会与原弓的掌门人有过一些深入的接触，在这些接触中使郭燕很清楚自己内心巨大的能量和创作的潜力远远不是一个狭隘的身份定位所能承载的，她不喜欢去为一种性别角色花费精力与时间去抗争，她知道自己在绘画上还有很多潜能没有挖掘出来，还远远没有达到一种理想的状态，她知道自己可以在绘画上面走很远，为此她义无反顾继续按着自己认定的方向前行。
郭燕坦承很幸运遇到现在的爱人，已是成功企业家的丈夫悉心呵护着她，不给她任何压力和要求，给了她很大的自我空间，丈夫事业的成功也使她完全不需要考虑生活的后顾之忧而安心进行艺术创作，他们还有一个可爱的女儿，然而郭燕自小就是是一个敏感细腻很在意别人感受的人，特别重感情，这些难以割舍的爱情、亲情和友情往往更让她难以潇洒面对，所以一直以来只能用刻意的并非本质的理性约束着自己身上危险的能量，而创作正成为这些能量与困惑宣泄的出口。那些无条件也无所求的幸福对于郭燕来讲更加成为了一种生命中不能承受之轻，同时也成为了一种现实的牵绊，这些牵绊给她无法取代的幸福感觉也带给她永无停歇的牵挂，而画画就成了她逃离现实的通道。
郭燕几乎天天都去画室，即使不画画，也喜欢在画室窝着不想出来，不想见人，也不想和别人交流，她迷恋那种沉入画中的忘我与幸福，她用画笔构筑的那个乌托邦的世界就是一个她自己的天堂，在那里她是不食人间烟火的仙女，那个世界里可以容纳她释放的所有关于命运、悲悯、情感、忧患、思辨的巨大能量，带给她终极的平静与安宁，而现实的幸福与牵挂又会让她不断地返回这个具体而温暖的人间，成为一个为获得而要付出和承担更多的女人，这种感觉在她今年的新作品“浮系列”中有了更加深刻的体现，画面中的人物不再是自己的家人或朋友，而是变成了抽象的众生，迷失挣扎在似梦似真的世界当中。每一张画都不只是某个场景和情节的描述而更像是一部诉求命运与真理的启示录，宏大、沉重而强烈。至此我终于理解了为什么郭燕可以画出那样的作品，那是记录了她不断穿梭的两个世界映射图像的叠加和交织的载体，汇聚了两个世界的矛盾、冲突、困惑和调和，揭示了梦想与现实、过去与未来的分裂，呈现了心灵与肉体、宿命与无常、情感与理智的博弈，创作这样的作品无疑是真诚而透支的，当然也就毋庸置疑地可以打动和震撼每一个观者。
天道酬勤，郭燕的努力也很快得到了艺术界很多朋友的认可，她从去年开始有机会受邀参加很多国内外重要的群展，并且有两幅作品还被中国美术馆购藏，这给了郭燕更大的自信和决心。从去年年底我开始产生为郭燕在北京举办个展的想法，对于在北京最重要的798艺术区里做平生第一次个展，郭燕也感觉到很大的压力，她租了更大的画室，在创作上由投入了更大的热情和精力，每次我出差去成都总能在她的画室惊喜地看到高质量的新作品，这也反过来给了我更大的压力，郭燕是个不希望给别人增加负担的人，她自己把涉及个展的资料、图片、文章等整理的井井有条早早地就提供给画廊的工作人员，尽可能多地承担了很多画展筹备的工作，虽然我策划操作过很多艺术展览，但是面对勤奋如斯、执着如此的郭燕我却前所未有的惶恐，生怕我的能力不足以完美地帮她展现她所透支身心构筑的那个紫色的神秘、浪漫、凄迷、完美的乌托邦世界。
梁克刚于北京
2008年10月20日
I met Guo Yan a couple of years ago at the Shanghai Biennale in 2006. Her work was presented in a young artists’ group exhibition shown by a private museum named Yuangong. Guo Yan catches easily others’ attention with her beauty and good manners. I specially went to this exhibition to see her paintings. Even though they were not totally accomplished Guo Yan’s personality had an effect on me at that time. I could feel the hidden emotions behind her peaceful paintings. Later, the art critic Chen Mo helped me to select some of this exhibition’s works and to bring them in Beijing. It was the time of Songzhuang Art Festival. Guo Yan came to visit TS1 Art Museum and we got to know each other better. Last year I attended He Duoling’s birthday party and at that time there was an exhibition of women artists selected by him. I met Guo Yan again. Her works changed a lot but the main color she used remained the purple one. It symbolizes mystery, romance and sadness. On the canvas there was a sleeping couple that floated above the wasteland. In this exhibition most of the visitors were women artists. The exhibition site was full of flowers and beauties. We celebrated He Duoling’s birthday in the evening. Among the crowd Guo Yan remained quiet and lost in her thoughts. She just questioned others on their experience of creation and asked for suggestions on her paintings. She had at that time a very comfortable life but was still willing to work hard on art creation. Mr. He used to think that painting was just a hobby for her. He later discovered her infatuated love for art. She enthusiastically dedicated herself to painting and spent seven to eight hours a day in her studio. She always talks about art creation when she meets her friends. Chengdu is a city of ease. Most of the artists living in Chengdu are not as diligent as Guo Yan. It was very interesting to me to discover what kind of motivation could make this women work so hard on her art.
Later on, she invited me to visit her small studio downtown. It was tiny but tidy. There were paintings of different sizes hanging on the wall. Frames ready to be painted were lying on the ground. I had never seen the purple color being used that way by other people. All her works were in a purple tone. Her early series “Purple Impression” are about couples walking in the city. They are always sad and worried. It seems that all these people are yearning the past youth, expecting love or worrying about the uncertain future. In her later series “Waft”, one can see sleeping couple or family members floating above the city or the wasteland. Her paintings became stronger. This beautiful and sad purple color is like a fire that destroys everything. What made this women create such powerful works? What kind of heart she has under her quiet and peaceful appearance?
I believe that the art of deep artists is like a portrait which takes a whole life to be created. What the artist tries to express is related to her life experience. As I became good friend with Guo Yan and knew more about her life and her art, my questions gradually found clear answers.
Guo Yan was born in an ordinary family in a small city in Shangxi Province. Her parents, brother and sister took good care of her as she grew up. Her warm family gave her a quiet personality and a romantic heart. She did her first painting when she was four. It gave her life its direction. The painting was colorful and showed a man standing under an apple tree. Suddenly an apple falls into his mouth. Guo Yan’s mother was very happy when she saw her daughter’s talent and went to the neighbors to show them the painting. It was the first time Guo Yan had felt so confident in herself. She confessed that the feeling of being admired by elders was important for her. Still, after that event, drawing remained just a hobby for her. Later, however, she chose art as part of her professional training.
At school, Guo Yan had an art teacher named Ren Xuejun. Mr. Ren taught her all the basics about art. He did not major in art but he was totally passionate about it. He encouraged Guo Yan to carry on painting. He appointed her as the leader of art activity group and encouraged her to participate in various art competitions, both at school and outside. Guo Yan is the youngest child in her family and every family member has always doted on her. But she was always the one being ignored, as no one cared about her opinions. She was studying in the same middle school as her sister who was an outstanding student. Guo Yan was thus under pressure. Sometimes a bit lonely, willful and unconfident, she finally decided to enter the art academy. She frequented art classes including “Xiaozhai Club”, which was famous among all art students of that period. Guo Yan began to take exams for college when she was in the second grade of high school. Two years later, she entered Xi’an Academy of Fine Arts with a major in oil painting.
The four years of college life disappointed Guo Yan. She did not meet a teacher who would really take care of her and who would influence her work. At that time, like most young people, she wanted to enjoy herself and have fun. During those four years, she did not work hard and never thought about becoming a professional artist. She took a job in Shangxi TV before graduation because she did not want to be a financial burden to her family anymore. This was the time where both her parents died of cancer. The death of her mother and father was a heavy blow for Guo Yan. It took her a long time before she got free from the pain. The darkness of death experienced then is also to be seen in her paintings.
During her colllege years, Guo Yan’s love life was quite complicated. Love brought her suffering instead of happiness. Her emotions and intellect were as if on leash and could not get released. She became withdrawn and distrustful. This desire for freedom is always present in her paintings. After college, Guo Yan moved to Chengdu, alone. The friend Li Rong whom she met in the TV station helped her to organize her life in Chengdu. In the following years, she worked for several different advertising and marketing firms.Then she met her husband, who is a successful entrepreneur in Chengdu. Guo Yan’s kind and generous husband gave her all the care she needed and it seemed that she was entirely satisfied with her life. However, she still wanted to paint. Even when she was working in the companies, she kept on painting at home. On one occasion, the artist Qiu Guangping saw her works and he was shocked. He told her that it would be a pity if she gave up painting and so he introduced her to the art circle in Chengdu. She met famous artists such as He Duoling and Zhou Chunya. In October 2004, Yang Qian, an artist who lived in America for many years, moved back to China. Yang Qian was a friend of Guo Yan’s husband when they were kids. He brought Guo Yan to many Sichuan Artists’ studios in Beijing’s Feijiacun and Suojiacun. After she saw these professional artists struggling in the capital, her artistic dreams were suddenly awake and she began to spend more energy and time on her artistic work. He Duoling had been the head artist of the “trauma art” trend since early 80’s. He became Guo Yan’s idol. But he did not appreciate her paintings at all. He thought she grew up in a rich family and since she did not need to live on painting, it was just fun for her and she could never treat it seriously. The attitude of He Duoling only provoked Guo Yan. She looked calm, but inside she was deeply moved. His opinions increased her perseverance and determination. In the following years, every time she achieved a little success, she would go and show it to He Duoling. At the same time, he also gave her advice concerning technique as well as the subject matter of the paintings.
Guo Yan began to be a professional artist at the end of 2004. At first, it was all easy and relaxed, since she felt no pressure. Later on, however, it became more difficult as she kept trying to find her very own way of expressing herself. She experienced the feelings of pain and happiness at the same time. By that time, she was totally into art.
In 2005 Guo Yan sold her Purple Impression No.3. It was the first time that someone bought her work. She felt happy not only about the money but also for the recognition she received. She had after that the chance to meet the curator of the Yuangong Museum in Shanghai during a group exhibition in 2006 which her work was part of. Yuangong suggested her to use more her identity of a woman artist. She strongly believed that she had more potential which still needed to be discovered. She did not want to limit her talent to her identity. It was not at all the situation she expected. For these reasons, she gave up the cooperation and followed her way.
Guo Yan herself thinks that she is very lucky to have met her husband. This successful entrepreneur takes good care of her and never put any pressure on her. This situation makes her totally free. She does not have to worry about daily life and can concentrate on her creation. They also have a lovely daughter together. Guo Yan is a sensitive person and always cares about others’ feelings. Love, family and friendship obviously affect her. She tries to control the strength inside her. Drawing and painting help her to release this power. This happiness became an unbearable lightness as well as fetters of reality. Painting became the way for her to escape from a certain kind of tiredness.
Guo Yan goes to her studio almost every day. And even if she does not paint she likes to stay there alone and quiet. The “Utopia” images she creates represent her paradise. That is how she finds peace and quietness. But troubles of life always bring her back from her paradise and make her a responsible woman. This kind of feeling can be found in her “Floating series”. The characters she paints are not family or friends anymore but abstract creatures. They fight in this imaginary world. Every piece is not just a description of a scene but seems also to be a search for destiny and truth. I finally understood that Guo Yan’s paintings are tracks which record her coming and going between her two worlds. Her paintings compromise the confusion inside her. They release the conflict between dream and reality, past and future. They represent the fight between spirit and body, fate and changes, feelings and ratio. This creation is exhausting. It will for sure impress and shock the audience.
Guo Yan has begun to be admitted by the art field. Since last year she is invited to participate in important exhibitions, both in China and abroad. Two pieces have been collected by the National Art Museum of China. It gave Guo Yan confidence and determination. Last year I had the idea of giving her a solo exhibition in Beijing. Her first solo exhibition in 798 art district was a lot of work. She rent a bigger studio and dedicated herself to art. Every time I went to Chengdu I was surprised by her high quality work. Guo Yan has done as much as she could to help us while organizing this exhibition. Although I have curated many exhibitions, I have never felt under so much pressure to present in the best way I could Guo Yan’s utopia in which she put all her energy.
Liang Kegang in Beijing
20 October 2008
【编辑：霍春常】
